I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
