So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So vagazzling was a success
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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