The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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