What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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