Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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