Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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