I think I died a long time ago.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
