i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
