Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize