he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
