the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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