Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
