she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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