I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
