grandma shit on top of the toilet
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize