i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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