I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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