too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
