Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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