About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
