I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
