Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
