remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
ugly people sure do ruin things
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
