Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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