This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
my liver is dry heaving
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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