if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
