she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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