Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
