week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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