i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
