with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
