All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
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