I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
