Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
