the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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