my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
