I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
