check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
This girl is more easily done than said...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
