My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
