I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize