i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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