I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
