i don't plan on having that self control this summer
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
