dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
