he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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