That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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