you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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