what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
