Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
