I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
