I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
