Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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