Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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