Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
