wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
